


Heart, Candy, Kiss

by Halrloprillalar (prillalar)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, Let's face it they're both assholes, M/M, Teasing, Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 00:09:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9690227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prillalar/pseuds/Halrloprillalar
Summary: Tsukki's texts to Kuroo become suspiciously frequent and romantic.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mousapelli](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mousapelli/gifts).



> I hope you enjoy your treat, mousapelli!
> 
> Note: All Japanese teen chat speak meticulously researched.

`sup tsukki`

Kuroo set his phone down and got out his homework. Normal people probably found it hard to do homework and text their boyfriend at the same time. But not Kuroo. Not because he was unusual, except of course in good looks and volleyball talent, but because his boyfriend never fucking texted back in any kind of normal time frame so there was plenty of time to get homework done in between.

He was halfway through the first algebra problem when his phone buzzed.

`sup k-san`

That was weirdly responsive. Maybe Tsukishima was bored. Or just now realising how desirable his boyfriend really was and how he should really take steps not to lose that hot ass to someone else.

`k-san my new text name? [kiss emoji]`

Kuroo went back to the algebra but now he was distracted by actually thinking about kissing Tsukishima's pretty mouth and maybe groping his ass a bit too. It had been a few weeks. He was still thinking about that when his phone vibrated again.

` [kiss emoji] `

Less than five minutes _and_ a kiss emoji? Damn, Tsukki! `Skype?` Kuroo sent.

`lol` Tsukishima wrote back. He never did log on to Skype.

~

`hey sup k-san`

Kuroo stared at his phone. "Bo," he said. "Tsukki just texted me."

"Yeah, bro." Bokuto punched Kuroo in the shoulder. "He's your boyfriend."

"I know. But he never texts first. Literally never."

"Maybe he decided he loves you! Looooooves you. Like--" Bokuto made huge kissy lips at Kuroo.

"And maybe a fish looooooves you." Kuroo made fishy kissy lips back.

"Text him back, Kuroo. Don't leave my lil bro Tsukki hanging!"

"You're way too into this," Kuroo said.

`sup tsukki miss that sweet ass`

"Now we wait," Kuroo said. But it was only a few minutes until the reply arrived.

`no ur sweet`

"Okay, that's just weird."

"Hey, you _are_ sweet, bro!" Bokuto grabbed Kuroo around the neck. "Tell Tsukki hi from me."

"Maybe someone stole his phone," Kuroo said.

~

Kuroo stared in the store window, wondering if he should buy some chocolate for his now oddly disturbing boyfriend. Well, they'd had a Skype date that had gone off fairly normally, but the frequent texting was continuing.

Maybe Tsukishima really was just warming up finally. It was nice, actually, to be appreciated. But, if he was honest, Kuroo missed badgering Tsukishima. He couldn't blow up Tsukishima's phone if Tsukishima was blowing his up back. He couldn't smother Tsukishima with outrageously sappy messages if Tsukishima's were sappy too.

Anyhow, Tsukishima would be visiting this weekend and Kuroo could tackle him then. After he, you know, _tackled_ him. Which would be a funnier joke if Kuroo weren't so damn horny.

His phone chimed and he pulled it out, stepping out of the way of two guys who had also stopped to pull out their phones. Maybe there should be a phone parking zone so there wasn't so much congestion on the sidewalk.

"It's going to send right now," one guy said. "It will show up in the log here. 'Hey, Mei-chan. Heart, Candy, Kiss'."

`hey k-san [heart emoji][candy emoji][kiss emoji]`

What. The. Hell.

~

It was an app. Called, appropriately, Boyfriend.app. You gave it some info about your partner, chose a cuteness level (Tsukishima had chosen the very lowest one, unsurprisingly), a base response time, a message nickname, and added some other data. It would reply to messages based on content. It would initiate messages at certain times. It automated the romantic messaging experience.

Kuroo was fucking furious. Mostly. He had to admit there was a part of him that was glad for a chance to harass Tsukishima again.

He thought about installing the app himself and then playing them off each other in a loop, but Tsukishima might not even notice. He also thought about just calling Tsukishima up and confronting him but that hardly seemed sporting. And might also result in Tsukishima cancelling his trip to Tokyo. And Kuroo wanted to make very sure that didn't happen.

After a bit of intensive searching, he found the perfect solution: a list of cheat codes you could send to the bot to force certain responses.

This was going to work out just fine.

~

Tsukishima stepped off the train and held out a small box. "Happy Valentine's Day, please accept this chocolate," he said in his "I'm so cool I'm bored" voice.

"With pleasure." Kuroo brushed Tsukishima's fingers as he took the chocolate. Damn, it had been too long. He wanted to grab Tsukishima right there in the station and push his tongue into that pretty mouth. And grope that pretty ass. But they'd get there soon enough. "Come on," he said.

As they walked out of the station, Kuroo put his arm around Tsukishima's shoulders and steered him along the sidewalk. "So, my little Tsukki, I hear you missed me so much you cried at night."

"As if that would fucking happen."

"You didn't mean it? Now I'm going to cry all night." Kuroo bumped his hip against Tsukishima's, just enough to throw off his balance. "And you didn't come to Tokyo for a 'love love time'?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Tsukishima pointed out a café. "Let's go eat."

"No, we're going to karaoke."

"I'm not going to karaoke with you so you can maul me in the booth," Tsukishima said.

"That's not what you said last night." Kuroo got out his phone and held it out. All Tsukishima's messages were on the screen:

`miss u so much k-san [crying emoji]`

`want 2 meet u 4 a lovelove time`

`im urs @ karaoke [heart eyes emoji]`

"Those are your messages, right?" Kuroo watched Tsukishima's face change, just a little, a tiny flush of pink on the back of his neck, a tremor in the corner of his mouth, a twitch in his eyebrow.

"I guess so," Tsukishima muttered.

Kuroo leaned down and whispered in Tsukishima's ear. "Then you're mine at karaoke." He brushed one finger down the back of Tsukishima's collar, even though they were still on the street. "It's on the next block."

"Fuck you, Kuroo-san," Tsukishima said. But he was smiling.


End file.
